

Three old ladies were sitting around a table. The first says, "I'm getting
so forgetful I was standing at the top of the stairs and I couldn't
remember whether I was going down or had just come up."The second lady says,
"You think that's bad? The other day I was sitting on my bed and I couldn't
remember whether I was going to sleep or getting up." The third lady smiles
smugly. "Well, I have no memory problems at all, knock wood."She raps the table.
"Who's there?"There was an elderly lady whom was waiting in the waiting room with her daughter.The nurse entered the waiting area and announced for the elderly lady to go on back to see the doctor. The nurse spoke louder but still she could not hear.
The elderly lady's daughter leaned over and said, "mother let's turn your hearing aid up." Then she yelled in shock,"That's not your hearing aid, its a suppository!
The elderly mother replied,"Well, now I know where my hearing aid went!A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone. "I was only going 40!" the driver protested. "Not according to my radar," the trooper said. "Yes, I was!" the man shouted back. "No you weren't!" the trooper said. With that, the man's wife leaned toward the window and said, 'Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when he's been drinking."